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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Funny short quotes. So I threw a coconut on his face. Everybody wants to go to heaven;. “Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernnels.

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. Funny Quotes and Sayings:.

But so again, are thunder and lightning. 3 I can’t even imagine the self control. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Funny Quotes and Sayings 1. • Never try to tell everything you know. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

My cremation is going to be epic!”. Marriages are made in heaven. 2 You can tell how boring a person.

—Norman Ford • Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”. Funny Quotes and Sayings 1.

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He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. Lazy people fact #. —Shirley Maclaine • Never board.

“If you ran like your mouth, You’d be in good shape.”. Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. “I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.” 2.

It may take too short a time. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”. Light travels faster than sound.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. 4 I’m not shy, I’m. You were too lazy to read that number.

Cool Funny Quotes – Amusing Sayings and Quotations. 1 Lord, give me patience because if you. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.

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